How To Be With Others In Grief.
Feelings of grief can be some of the most intense and lonely feelings we can have. And for someone grieving their loss of a loved one, it can be challenging to provide grief support. As a Seattle grief therapist, I have helped people discover the many ways they can help grieving people feel comforted and soothed.
The most important quality for helping people in grief
One of the most important things we can do to support someone in grief is to listen actively with reflective listening. This means paying close attention to what the person is saying and providing non-judgmental support. Avoiding interrupting or trying to offer solutions lets the person know you want to listen to them and care about what they are trying to express. And when we engage in good listening skills, we can become more focused on being present and listening with empathy.
Offering comfort through listening and empathy
Offering our presence is sometimes the best thing we can do. Presence is simply just being present with the person. To accomplish presence, we can spend time with them, whether that's just sitting in silence or engaging in an activity they enjoy. Let them know that you are there for them and willing to listen whenever they need to talk.
It's also important to acknowledge the person's emotional pain and show that you empathize with what they are going through. Use phrases like "I'm sorry for your loss" or "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you." Don't try to minimize or dismiss their feelings with platitudes. Avoid saying things like "everything happens for a reason" or any sentence that begins with “at least” such as "at least they are in a better place now."
Practical assistance for people with grief
Help with practical tasks is good grief therapy advice. Grief can be overwhelming, and even simple tasks can feel daunting. Offer to help with practical tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, or pet care. This can be especially helpful if the person is dealing with a loss now has extra responsibilities such as caring for children.
Helping people in grief requires patience and flexibility. Grief is a complicated process that can take time, and it's important to be patient and flexible. Recognize that everyone grieves differently and that the person may need to take time to process their emotions. Offer your support, but also respect their boundaries and give them space when needed.
Encouraging self-care for people experiencing grief
Grief can be physically and emotionally draining, so it's important to encourage the person to take care of themselves. This may include things like eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Encourage them to seek out professional help if they need it, such as seeing a therapist or joining a support group.
Even after the initial shock of the loss has passed, the person may still be struggling with grief. Follow up and check in with them regularly to see how they are doing and offer your support. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care.
A cornerstone of grief therapy teaches that being with a person in grief requires active listening, patience, and flexibility. Offering your presence, acknowledging their pain, helping with practical tasks, encouraging self-care, and following up are all important ways to support someone during this difficult time. Remember that everyone grieves differently, and it's important to respect their individual process while offering your support.
Grief therapy can help
If you are having trouble coping with this new chapter, reach out to me for grief counseling. Together, we can find ways to help you feel more prepared to take on this next chapter.